According to INEC, the average time a marriage lasts is 16 years. And at the same time as divorces increased, marriages also decreased. According to experts, the problems due to which the legal breakdown occurs are mainly due to lack of communication, infidelity, economic problems and in the last position due to apathy.
Commitment is Couple’s life
If you have recently divorced after twenty years of marriage or more, or if you know someone, in this case, you are not alone. Late separations, sometimes called “gray divorce” are on the rise. In 2010, one in four divorcees were in their fifties, an age range twice as high as in 1990, according to the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green University (Ohio).
Experts also say that another problem in a relationship is the lack of commitment. To this is added the change of customs and values within the family.
The five leading causes of divorce among married couples for decades:
- They are moving away
Late divorce rarely occurs because of a sudden event, says Stan Tatkin, author of Wired for Love. It is rather a slow process. “A bit like an unbreakable plate that is repeatedly dropped,” he says. “Micro-cracks appear, until reaching a critical threshold that makes the plate shatters.”
This is why many late-breaking couples say that they have simply moved away. It’s often a shock for friends and family.
- Their age
Age is important. A big age difference that was not a problem at the beginning of the relationship can become burdensome later, he explains. The partners, arriving in mid-life, sometimes suddenly want to start from scratch.
According to him, “a [physiological and biological] update of the brain” occurs at certain moments of life, especially around the age of 15, then in the forties. “Whenever it happens, we want to go back.” Starting a relationship with a younger person allows some to satisfy that desire.
- Money problems
A different relationship to money and financial difficulties can be right for your couple. Children’s activities, ordinary expenses, and the cost of higher education can end up making you into debt.
Sexual incompatibility can get worse, says Jessica O’Reilly, author of The New Sex Bible and sexologist “Hormonal changes that occur with age can cause significant fluctuations in libido. Even if the differences of desire are felt at any age, they sometimes get worse over time. ”
Couples on a slippery slope can recover with these five tips:
- Make your relationship a priority
You are supposed to be able to rely on each other in difficult circumstances, Stan Tatkin notes. “You have to know each other at your fingertips and protect yourself, both in public and in private, without ever putting your couple at risk.” In addition, couples need to ask themselves why they are together “Know what unites you,”
- Take care of yourself
Weight gain, lack of exercise and a neglected outfit suggest to your partner that you do not care anymore about him or her, and expert’s advice: “Go on a diet and put yourself back into the sport.”
- Assume your share of responsibility
Before giving up your wedding, look in the mirror “If you are any, maybe the problem is there” If so, he suggests putting some spice back into your life. Prepare a trip together, create a new business, learn a language together or develop a new skill … All activities that spark new conversations and can rekindle passion.
- Talk freely about your sexuality
Couples who discuss their sexual desires, variations in their desire, and their vulnerabilities can overcome their differences, “Communication is essential. As your body transforms, you need what makes you feel good physically and emotionally to maintain your sexuality. ”
- … but also everything else!
Finally, do not forget to discuss everything. This is the only way to solve your problems.